My name is Mike.
I am a person who spent 15 years battling the chains of addictions to many things.
Just over 2.5 years ago, I found myself homeless, with restraining orders from a hospital, AA clubhouse, trap house, Wal-Mart, Dollar General, RaceTrac Gas Station, and a thrift store, overdosing many times, and attempting massive shots of heroin and meth, no longer really caring if I lived or died. I was in so much pain and so miserable, it all just seemed pointless.
I was a slave to Alcohol, Meth, and Heroin for many years. They were the solution to my Anxiety and Depression problems, the only things that worked, however briefly. I tried nearly everything western medicine had to offer to solve these problems. I went to methadone clinics, psychiatrists, psych wards, even meetings though I wasn’t ready for them yet, and nothing was working.
After being forced to detox in jail 924 days ago on drug possession and felony shoplifting charges, I was desperate enough that I gave the “Spiritual Solution” they spoke of in AA a real try.
AA saved my life, but at 11 months sober, having worked the program, I was still absolutely miserable.
By working the steps, and giving my will up to a higher power, I was fortunate enough that an extension of that HP brought me to a weekend Ayahuasca retreat, consisting of 2 magical ceremonies, and everything changed.
The medicine brought me back to life. I came back from the retreat, found a new sponsor and worked the steps again, feeling more capable than ever, I began fearlessly searching for as much healing as possible in this work. My first 5th step took 27 hour-long sessions, including many amazing spiritual experiences, usually showing up in powerful lucid dreams.
I have not stopped, as I have basically replaced love affairs with poisons with a love and passion for recovery and healing. I continue to work on myself and with others on a daily basis. I have sat with Ayahuasca on 2 occasions in Recovery, as well as volunteering in many ceremonies, and it has truly been the game changer.
It is important for me to say, that for me, only 2-ish% of the work happens on the mat or in ceremony.
I also work in a psych hospital in the mental health and addiction unit, finding purpose in turning the “mess into a message,” and filling my life with it.
Today, I do my best to not put any unnatural chemicals into my body, to the extent where about 4 months ago I committed to full blown Veganism…
I am experiencing the results and I never have to be a slave to anything again.
Healthy eating. Support Groups. Yoga. Meditation. Exercise. Plant Medicines. Connecting with other humans that are healing… these things are the solutions for me.
The only way out is through, and I still have a lot of healing to do.
The Spirit of the Universe, God, Source, whatever you’d like to call it, that has given me this gift of grace… I am establishing a beautiful relationship with it. It seems that every day I am learning more and more, only to find out I know less and less, and I’m finding much freedom in that.
Anyways, I could go on and on, but I also just want to say if you are struggling, feel free to connect with me, it helps me to connect with others who are also healing or ready to.
We Are the Medicine and We Do Recover!
Thank you for reading. Much love and many blessings! Mike Malloy www.psychedelicsinrecovery.org
